Round 6

After going back and forth about whether to try and again or not we have decided to take advantage of still having insurance that covers most of the cost and try again.

We went in yesterday so K's day 3 u/s and there was a cyst. K will be on BCP's for a couple weeks to calm things down and hopefully that cyst will go away. It looked like it was already starting to break up.

We are also busy trying to pick a new donor.

That's about it for us on the TTC subject.

I'm feeling alot better. I'm taking my blood thinners everyday and taking it easy so my body can do what it needs to do to break down the clots. I go back to working Job #2 this week. Even though I've loved all the time off I'm looking forward to getting back to work.

Here's a good story for you....

I don't know if I mentioned this in my last post but on October 6th I was diagnosed with pneumonia. A week later when I was going back to the doctor for my follow up appointment I wasn't any better. Actually my breathing had gotten worse. At the same time I was experiencing what I thought was a pulled muscle in my right leg. This wasn't the first time I had the leg pain. So, long story short....My doctor sent me to the hospital for 2 tests. 1. An ultrasound of my leg to check for a blood clot. and 2. An CAT SCAN of my chest to check for blood clot(s) in my lungs. The clot in my leg is from mid thigh to my ankle. My lungs are full of multiple clots on both sides. I was immediately admitted and spent a couple days in the hospital.

There is some good news to this situation.
1. K was quickly kicked out of her poor me bad mood and realized that there is more to life.
2. My life was saved. I was a walking time bomb and I was lucky that the clots were stopping in the lungs and not going to my head or heart.
3. K also realized that she does want to go ahead with the last 2 tries.
4. I am taking the right medications (blood thinners) and I'm feeling much better.

We were unable to go on vacation. I can't fly in my condition and I have to be at several doctor's appointments this week. Since K works for the airline we were using 2 free tickets she was saving. Yes free, but they were positive space passes. That's kind of a big deal since we normally fly stand by. We may have lost those tickets. We also had reservations for a couple nights at a really nice hotel that was non-refundable. So, we're talking to the airline to see if under the circumstances they will consider letting us keep the passes and the hotel let us push the dates out a few months. It looks like our vacation will now be the end of January.

I guess the moral of this story is.....Life is too short. That no matter how bad things get they can always get worse. I just want to enjoy life. I still need to bust my ass the next few years to get out of this horrible financial situation but after that I'm done working so much. I'm not worrying.

The next time I post should be back to TTC topics. Just 2 more tries. If it happens it happens. If it doesn't then I believe we're ready to be ok with that. It will be closure.

I hope all is well in blogland. I'm a bit out of touch with everyone. Haven't been able to read anything in over a week, but know I'm thinking of all of you. I'll catch up as soon as I can and I hope to see some BFP's out there.

Just another day at the circus

Things have not been good since my last post. K is having such a hard time with everything. As all of you who have been following our journey for a while know...K got laid off last January. Now that the baby thing didn't work she is not just dealing with that loss, but now the realization that she doesn't have a full time job making what she made as an electrician. Oh, and lets not forget the fact that there really aren't any jobs out there either. The anger and depression has set in. Nothing I say helps. I'm taken wrong at every turn and god forbid I actually get stressed out because then everything starts to fall apart. So I stay up beat and hopeful which I think just annoys her. At least when she was TTC she felt like she had a purpose. She was working on a dream. That dream crashed and burned.

K's been going back and forth about a couple more tries. We have some leftover Bravelle and figured that for a mere $3000 we could get everything we need for 2 more tires which would run out her insurance and then be done. But as of yesterday (which was a terrible day) she doesn't even want to do that now.

We are leaving for vacation on Saturday. I'm really hoping that some relaxation does her some good. I know I need it.

This has been such a terrible year. Horrible. I know it will get better. I know this thing with K will pass. I know a job will come and money will come and hopefully when all is said and done K can still find happiness even without a child. But it's sure won't be a joyride waiting for that day to get here.

Just another BFN...

It's another NO this cycle and yes, that is sad. But what is even more sad is that I think we've decided to stop trying.

While talking about our next try we decided to go through our finances. With everything laid out in front of us it was such a shock and such a wake up call to just how much we have spent on this already. What we owe because of TTC already.

I have no idea if we'll change our minds and go for another try or two. I doubt it, but I guess at this point anything is possible.

This is a very sad day in our lives. I hope I can keep on posting. I hope I can continue to be happy for all of my friends who have recently found out they are pregnant, and for the friends who will soon become pregnant. I hope I can get out of this bitter angry hole that I feel is so deep that I can't see any way out. I hope I can find the strength to know I will be living the rest of my life childless like Queerstork did and with as much grace as she did.

I want to thank all of you out there in blogland for all your support and I wish you all the best of luck in your journeys.

Sincerely,
Abby & Kathy

2 more days

The TWW is almost over. I have no idea how it's going to turn out. The progesterone is playing tricks on K. Once second she feels pg and the next second she feels like she has PMS. We don't really talk about it. We aren't getting our hopes up. I think it's so sad when so many bad things have happened when you can't even get excited about trying and to not even allow yourself to have hope that a try is going to work.

We'll test at home tomorrow night because as I've said before I never want a stranger to tell us the news. Especially if it's a BFN. I'd rather let K be prepared for that news and already be in the mindset that we'll be trying again.

I'll update everyone as soon as I know something.