We stopped our last cycle of trying April 2010. After both of us trying, each of us having surgery, many failed attempts and a miscarriage we just couldn't do it anymore. After stopping in April my life started falling apart. I actually think I was going crazy with grief. Well, grief that I wasn't dealing with. My entire life almost completely crumbled. But by some miracle it didn't. Kathy and I managed to stay together. We managed to actually grow more together despite all the terrible things that happened. I went to counseling for 9 months to help me process it all and even though I don't know that I will ever be the same I'm happy to say I'm much better.
About a year ago Kathy came to me and said she wanted to try again. One last bang. We've spent this year figuring it all out and making sure we were really strong enough to handle whatever happens and now the time as come. We have an appt in 3 weeks with our baby doctor to discuss our vision, have all the tests redone and start making a plan.
The doctor could tell us no for many reasons but if we don't try this one last time we will always wonder. I don't want to wonder. I want to walk away no matter the outcome at peace.
1 year ago