Monday, February 22, 2010

On the edge...

Haven't posted in a while because there hasn't been any news.

We have a consultation with the RE tomorrow. K really wanted the appointment. We have everything in place for our last try. We should be scheduling our Day 3 appointment this week, but she wants to talk to the RE about where to go from here. I just don't know if financially we can do anything going forward.

I want so bad to be excited about this try. Work is so stressful and then the stress, hurt, pain and financial burden of TTC is really getting to me. I feel on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

Today my Mom called. She is on vacation out in Arizona with some family. One of my cousins has 10 kids. Most of them adopted. According to my Mom "Arizona is throwing kids at her". I chatted with her over facebook not that long ago and she said that she hasn't paid a dime to adopt any of her kids.

It angers me. It angers me that she has 10 and I can't even get 1. It angers me that my Mom will call to talk to me but spend 20 minutes talking only about my cousin and all her kids and how wonderful she is.

I finally snapped today. I told her to stop talking about kids! That I already know how perfect Lisa is but I didn't want to hear it anymore. I told her I had my own life and to Fing bad that there isn't kids.

Now....I have more Mom guilt. It's a never ending battle. Of course she said she should have been more sensitive and all I thought was "duh!"

Monday, February 1, 2010

We're back!

Vacation was great. It was so relaxing. I don't know the last time we had 10 days of absolutely nothing to do. I read 2 novels, watched a bunch of movies, ate great food, and went for a few long walks.

K gets her final beta tomorrow that will confirm that she isn't pregnant anymore. We'll wait for her next full cycle and start with our last try.

I'm so happy to be back at work.

I have alot of blogs to catch up on. I hope everything is going well out in blogland.