The black cloud is still over me.....

Beta #2 was only 103.  That is at LEAST 30 points under what it should be for a beta.  57 under the ideal number.  I feel like our little peanut is leaving us.  I feel like I'm in a fragile state.

I just can't catch a break.  I must of done something really horrible in past life (or this one) to have this keep happening.

I have another beta tomorrow morning.  I'm hoping for a miracle but I need to prepare myself for reality.

Keep us in your thoughts.

BFP BETA 80

My BETA is 80 today.  I go back Wednesday to make sure it's rising.  I made my 8 week appt with the OB office already today. 

Life is pretty good.

BFP

I don't officially test till Monday but I took a home test this afternoon and.....TWO LINES! The line may be light but it's there.

This past week has been crazy. My company decided to devolve my department which is heartbreaking to me. I put my heart and soul into the group. I made the position exactly what I wanted and needed and now my future at the company and where I'll be working is uncertain.

But hard to be upset when you see this.

Good Feeling

I have a great feeling about the IVF.  Maybe I'm crazy but I believe I felt the implantation.  I'll be shocked if I'm not pregnant. Pregnant test is next Monday. Keep sending baby-vibes!

Our home visit to get custody of the little girl is this Wednesday. We have to get the house ready today.  Life is busy but I feel good. Finally. Life has been hard and depressing but there just might be some light.

IVF #4

Friday is IVF #4. I haven't really posting and actually I haven't really told anyone about this try. I just don't want to hear people's fake optimism. Or have to tell people if it worked. Because if it doesn't work the worst thing is having to say a dozen times "It didn't take". Things look good overall for this try. We feel pretty good about this try.
There is a new development in our life that I will document here. K and I are in the process of fostering to adopt a 7 year old little girl. Her Mother is a drug addict who broke this little girl. She has abandonment issues and has outburst and temper tantrums. We know this will be a challenge but we have committed to helping her not matter what so we have been preparing ourselves for the worst. And with how slow the state and county moves with this kind of thing we have had plenty of time to think.

Wish me luck!!  Send tons of baby vibes my way.