Tuesday, January 12, 2010

The hits just keep coming

K went in for bloodwork again today. It was my understanding that this bloodwork was to just verify that the beta went down to zero. Her beta on January 6th went down to 135. Today it was 570. They are worried that it may be a tubal pregnancy. That would be so bad. K is MAD AT THE WORLD! I don't know how to help her.

So, at this point we know nothing except we know something isn't right. A beta of 570 is too small to see anything on an ultrasound. We know it's too low to be a viable pregnancy and for the fact that it did go up means something weird is going on.

Back in October we had our vacation scheduled to Arizona. We had to cancel because I got hospitalized for the blood clot situation. I know we are both hoping that we won't have to cancel again. It would be the blow to our sanity that could just push us both over the edge. I mean you think positive, you do the right thing and the bad stuff still keeps coming. I mean how much more do we have to go through???? Let's recap...
  • I go to the RE to start the TTC process and find out I have endometriosis - surgery
  • During that surgery I find out I have a blocked tube - surgery
  • I get a BFN and several half tries because guess what...my body doesn't want to cooperate
  • K gets laid off and we lose a journeyman electrician's salary
  • We switch to K and after BFN afer BFN they find a polyp - another surgery
  • More BFNs
  • We get Pregnant to be told....We're sorry but we have no hope for a viable pregnancy.
  • Oh, and then today.....Something's wrong. We don't know what. Come back Monday.
  • Between all of that there has been broken water main pipes, Father's either falling on the ice or ending up in the hospital, Brother's in jail, sick dog, and a few other things bad things that have cost us a small fortune.

That's just what I can remember off the top of my head. Now, I've never (or very rarely) been an angry blogger. I'm ok with angry bloggers because I think if you are going to vent your blog is the place to do it. But that just hasn't been me. Today I feel angry. Actually I'm sad, and worried more then anything. I just want K to be ok. I don't want her to have to go through this. I feel like I can't protect her. I feel like I failed her.

What we really need to happen is Monday when she goes in for more bloodwork & the ultrasound that the beta is really low or gone or if there is something in the tube they can get rid of it with medication and no surgery will be required. I'm putting this out into the universe. This is what I need this situation to be for K's health, her peace of mind and the long over due vacation that we so desperately need.

15 comments:

  1. Oh A.. that sucks ass. Its not fair and its not right that you girls have to go through this damn it.

    I am hoping the universe answers you.

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  2. This blows. I wish I had something more helpful to offer, but I did want to say that you have absolutely NOT failed her. Hope, hope, hoping for Monday.

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  3. I am so sorry. What a huge disappointment after all you've been through already! I hope you will get the answers soon.

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  4. I am so very sorry! I will be thinking of you both and I hope K's next appointment clears up any current worries. Take care.

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  5. Oh that plus everything else you are going through...I'm so sorry.

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  6. Wow. That's a long list of high-stress life experiences. I am so sorry that you both have to go through so much pain and suffering. I truly hope that the tide shifts on your next cycle.

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  7. I don't even know what to say. I'm am so sorry. You remain in my thoughts and prayers.

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  8. :(

    I wish I had some wonderful words to fix this for you. All I can say is I hope it ends soon so that you guys can some the space to grieve, recover, and have the restorative trip to Arizona that you need.

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  9. Oh sweet girls. You don't deserve this and it breaks my heart that you are suffering so much. I am sending all the love and positive energy I have to you.

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  10. Ugh, I am so, so sorry to hear this. I'll be thinking of you.

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  11. Sorry, Keeping you in my thoughts. xoxo

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  12. I hope things start getting a little easier.

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  13. I'm so sorry. This is definitely been a hard time for you. I will keep you in my prayers & hope that 2010 brings you all your dreams.

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  14. Oh god that is just so effing unfair. What is going on with the universe? Sending prayers for negative betas and a much needed vacation:)

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  15. damn the universe needs to give you girls a break already! I will be another voice in our collective call to the universe to help you gals out. xx

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