We are apart of the Attain Program. If you don't know what that is....It is a "shared risk" program where basically I pay for 2 fresh tries and if I got pregnant on the first try I over pay. That is my risk. Their risk is for the cost of 2 fresh tries I get 3 fresh tries and 3 frozen tries. That is their risk. If it takes me more then the cost of 2 fresh tries to get pregnant they have over paid. And if I go through all 6 tries and end up with no baby at all I get my money back. That is also their risk. Looks like we will bet getting the better end of the deal with how things have been going. If my twins carried to term I would have over paid and I would have gladly over paid.....
Well, anyway I got a call today from the financial people and they wanted to make sure since this is my 3rd frozen transfer I only have 2 fresh tries left after the January 22nd try. I actually got sad from that call. It's so hard after such a devastating loss like having my twins die in my arms to stay hopeful that one of these tries is going to work out. I want it to. My body is ready to be pregnant, there is nothing medically wrong. I've been checked over and over so now all I need is for an embryo to implant again. We know what went wrong with the twins and we have a plan to prevent it from happening again but I need these doctors to get me pregnant again.
I am not looking forward to Christmas. Actually I'm very anti-Christmas these days but I'll go through the motions. Other then that there is nothing much going on here.
more later...
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