I've got some good news and I've got some good news.
First good news, I've lost 7 pounds in 2 weeks. Yeah for me!
Now for the more important good news...
K's appointment with the RE went really well yesterday. We're happy, but cautious to not get to excited because the tests aren't done yet.
Here's the scoop... K's ultrasound looked really good. He was a little concerned with her lining. It was thick. It could be she just has a thick lining on CD15 or a thick lining can be hiding a problem. A polyp to be exact. So, the plan is this....
She'll go in for her Day 3 ultrasound and labs. On day 3 the lining is also much thinner so that will show if that was just normal for her or if there is something like a polyp. If that ultrasound looks good she starts on a monitor cycle with clomid. Regardless of whether the ultrasound looks good or not she'll also be getting a HSG done sometime between cd 4 & cd10 as well. We want to make sure there are no other problems.
That's about it. Now we wait for day 3 and hope everything goes well with the HSG and labs.
We went out last night for dinner & drinks to celebrate everything. There was a little bit of tears I admit. Of course they were my tears. It was really hard that for 13 years every conversation, every dream of building our family I would be carrying. We picked the donor based on her, if we had a girl it would have been named after her, etc. So, when she looked at me and asked if we were going to switch donors it was like a punch in my gut. It was like "oh, you're right...our donor looks like you. Not me". Then she asked about the girl baby name. Again it hit me... "oh, you're right...if we had a girl it would be named after you. Not me". It was such a realization that we have spent the last 13 years planning this event to make sure it included both us. That we both felt like it was our baby not just my baby. Now, we have a couple weeks to re plan. To change this way of thinking and to turn the tables to make sure I actually feel like I'm included. To help me feel like it's also my baby not just her baby. I realized last night that I also needed to hear all the reassurances from her that I had been saying to her for all these years. At first she looked at me almost like I was being silly to think that anything would be any different and of course I'm the Mommy, etc. But she quickly understood where I was coming from when I explained that even though logically I know that everything would be fine I still needed to hear it. That I'm not going to have all the years of time to get that reassurance and time to adjust like she did.
But of course this isn't all about me...She only gets a couple weeks to come to the realization that her world is also going to change in a way that she never thought it would. She is going to now be the one with nurses & doctors all up in her "goodies" when she's really a very private person and not comfortable with strangers being there. She has to change her thinking from the caregiver to the one who is going need to be taken care of.
But in the end we're both very happy and feeling really good about this. We feel like every thing's falling into place better then we had hoped. We're both looking forward to our new roles and will take care of each other through this.
If we get through this next round of tests (labs & HSG) without anything bad we're going to be good to go and we'll be back on the TTC train.
1 year ago