Friday, January 9, 2009

A very generous offer.....

Listen to this one...

Yesterday my Mom calls and half way through the conversation she says "Do you want to hear something funny?" Of course I said yes. She starts by telling me how her best friend's son (Bill) was over doing some home improvement work for her and he asked her if I was still thinking about trying to have a baby. After she told him yes he told her that he would give me sperm. That he had already talked to his wife and she would be OK with it and that there would have to be someway he could ship it to me. She did tell him that K & I didn't want a known donor because we didn't want the hassles that comes with that. We also want a Mexican donor if I'm carrying since K is part Mexican and Bill is a red head with fair skin. Attractive, but just not the donor we have always wanted.

His offer didn't really come as a big shock. We are childhood friends. Our families are very close and I don't think he would interfer. But I would feel weird. I would look at the child and see Bill. We want a Mexican donor so when K looked at the child she would see alittle of her. I'm very close to his Mother and I would wonder how she would feel when she would be around the child knowing it would be her grandchild. It would be too messy....I think. Even though I don't think he would want to be "Daddy" I know he would still want to know the child.

But there is a huge part of me just overwhelmed by this guys generosity. I plan on writing him a letter thanking him for the offer and letting him know how much it means to me that he cares enough about me to want to help me create a life.

I will not be accepting his offer. If it was 10 years ago, we were still in the same state, K was OK with using him as a donor, etc...Maybe. There would be just too much to do. Friends of mine used a known donor who lived in another state. It took them 5 years to get through all of the legal paperwork, donor testing and the psychological stuff. Now she has a beautiful daughter and a baby on the way. Worked for them.

That's my story today. It's Friday and I hope everyone has a great weekend.


  1. How incredibly thoughtful! I have some of the same thoughts. The known donor route comes with a host of complications. I also think it is sweet that you would like your child's appearance to reflect your partner as well.

  2. That is so sweet! We considered a know donor, but like you, found it to be just too complicated. I wanted to choose my baby daddy and have that be a reflection of my partner and myself. Makes sense to me, but my how generous.

  3. wow, what a really sweet offer, even if it's not the right choice for your family. good to know there are such generous people out there!

  4. HI - good to find your blog!
    I think like the other PPs that it is really really sweet of your friend to offer. Wish there were more like him!
    Happy Friday!